Character 1: I will do the noble thing.

Character 2: Yeah, about that? You don’t know this writer like I do. You’re just asking for him to bump you off.

Character 1: I want to be noble, and noble characters do noble things. He will be awed by my nobility.

Character 2: Seriously, come back now and we’ll think of something else. Please….

Character 1: You should have more faith.

Writer: Uh, you know, you should probably listen to Character 2.

Character 1: Pish. And tosh. (See how nobly I did that?) You will not forsake me. I’m more than some plot device to be easily discarded. I’ll prove it to you!

Writer: sigh