Even Sizes

OK…who was the genius that thought that stepping men’s pants sizes in two-inch (5cm) increments was a good idea?  Admittedly, this isn’t a huge problem for fifty-percent of pants-buyers, and of varying importance to most of the remaining fifty-percent.  But…it just so happens that I am one of those who is most affected, and its maddening.

See, here’s the sitch

: the inseam of the legs of men’s pants (more to the point, jeans) are typically sized in even-inch increments such as 30", 32", 34", etc.  At least, they are now.  It wasn’t long ago that pants were sized in inch increments, but because some pin-headed bean-counters determined that there was more money to be made with fewer selections, the even-inch dictate was implemented. 

Why is this a problem?  Well, I just happen to have an inseam of 31"…exactly in the middle.  This means that my jeans must be worn either with the legs too long and rolled at the cuffs (making it look like I’m wading through a shallow flood), or the legs are too short which looks like the jeans shrunk after the flood waters receded.  This is a bigger problem with jeans than with dress pants (which I’ve skillfully avoided having to wear for at least twenty years) because dress pants are typically tailored to fit.  Jeans don’t adapt quite so easily.

About a decade ago, I was still able to buy jeans with a 31" inseam (although, it did take some looking to find them).  Now…not so much.

And it’s not just the legs that are a pain, but the waist.  Again, here I seem to have always been a tweener.  The even-sized waists are typically too loose, and constantly trying to slide from my waist to my ankles, or they are too tight, eagerly making my flab "muffin top".

All-in-all, settling on even inch sizes is not a good thing.  The interval between measures is too great.  Now…if we went metric and settled on steps of two centimeters (about 3/4 inch), then I could get down with the program.  But given that sizes are increasingly meaningless anyway (after all, we don’t want people to think they are overweight or anything, no matter how large their girth), it’s time the whole sizing shebang be overhauled. 

I say, as I often do, that we need to simply make it metric.  Give sizes in metric with non-varying enforced standards.  I think women, most of all, would appreciate this as sizing from everything from dresses, to sportswear, to shoes, to bras would actually make sense.  This would be a boon for the fashion industry as people could now buy clothes more easily.  In a store…boom, it would fit.  Over the Internet…boom, it would fit.  Husbands could actually buy clothes for their honeys (true, it would still be totally wrong, but at least it would fit).

Of course, it’ll never happen.  Anything that actually makes sense and would streamline an entire industry is something that will never fly with the bean-counters and MBAs.  The reality of that is very annoying…because I still can’t find jeans that fit.  Gah!